In the last of our relationship goals I talked about HACK-N-SACK: Honesty, Acceptance, Communication and conflict resolution, Kindness and avoiding Negativity. Today I want to cover the SACK: Sacrifice, Acknowledge, Commitment/Cooperation and Kindling relationships. So todays title “It’s in the Bag” talks about how to strengthen relationships.
Lets start with Sacrifice. The definition of sacrifice is give up (something important or valued) for the sake of other considerations https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sacrifice. This is most often thought of in extreme situations where a parent or a partner might say that they are willing to die to save the other who is in harms way. Even though this is extreme, I think that it is important that the other person’s needs are taken into consideration and, at times, we sacrifice what we want and let the other person have what they want. Now, I know, a relationship that is completely one sided with sacrifices will most likely never last. And when you sacrifice something it is not for the intention of getting the other person to give you want you want later or to hold it over them as a way of saying “remember when I did that for you”. Sacrifice is not a compromise, it is completely giving of yourself to another person without expecting anything in return. I know this concept is hard and I will admit there are very few people that I am willing to make sacrifices for but for the people that mean the most, my husband, children, grandchildren, and parents…. I would die for them.
Acknowledgement in a relationship is important. Showing gratitude for what the other person does can strengthen the relationship. The efforts that they make, how they are working in the relationship, makes a lot of difference in improving healthy relationships. It seems like common sense that when you acknowledge positive behavior you are reinforcing positive behavior. This sounds like a win win situation to me, the person you are acknowledging is recognized for the positive things that they are doing and they are more likely to continue doing that behavior which most likely is behavior that you appreciate and enjoy yourself.
Commitment and cooperation often go hand in hand. In any relationship you are most likely not going to get what you want every single time, so being committed to the relationship and cooperating with one another is an ongoing process. Sticking with the relationship, being committed to each other. Working with each other and cooperating to come to a solution, because problems WILL occur.
Kindling your relationship each and every day. I have been learning more about Shoshin were you experience it like it was the first time. Think about the first date, the first day on the job, the first time you went somewhere new. Think about how exciting (and yes even a little intimidating) it was. Think about how you wanted to put your best foot forward. Be the best that you could be. Kindle your love, devotion, dedication, commitment, appreciation, care, and determination to be the best that you can be.
And at the end of the day you can say “I’ve got this relationship thing in the bag!”